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The 10 Commandments // Part 3

Commandment 5 //
Honor Your Father & Mother

Pastor Chris Ranson

I get the privilege of working with our MS’ers and HS’ers every Wednesday evening, and the days in between.

  • Virgin Gorda – 20 students
  • Yard Sale fundraiser – 8/5 (8a-1p)
    Thank you to those who donated amazing, beautiful items for us to sell. Every $$ goes toward helping students get to Winterfest, or our new Fall Retreat (an experience we created to help students share their faith).
  • BTS Night – 8/16 (Fun begins at 5pm)
  • Info. about the new school year included in a brochure on our Info. counter in the lobby

This morning, I will continue Pastor’s sermon series “10 Commandments” but I will be skipping to the 5th commandment:

Honor Your Father & Mother

Exodus 20:1, 12 
Then God gave the people all these instructions: “Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

It’s interesting that the 10 commandments are actually divided into two parts:

  • #1-4: deals with our relationship with God
  • #5-10: our relationships with people

This is significant because we cannot truly love one another unless we love God. The duty to one’s parents stands next to the duty toward God.

Loving our neighbor starts at home, and home life starts with how we relate to our parents. This relationship is foundational to every other relationship.

If we don’t honor authority at home, we’ll have a hard time respecting authority anywhere else, and society will crumble.

The Lord tells us to Honor our Father & Mother many times throughout the Bible; in the OT and NT. In fact, it’s mentioned more times in the NT than the OT.

It’s interesting that there is nothing negative about this command. All the others say, “Thou shalt not,” but not this one; it’s a totally positive commandment as it is the first commandment that comes with a promise.

Now, all the commandments bring blessings into your life when you obey them, but the 5th specifically mentions one of the promised blessings:

Ephesians 6:1-3 
Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”

What’s the connection between giving honor to our parents and having a long life. If I could, I suggest that it has a lot to do with the family being the foundational unit for any civilization. Maybe that’s why the world around us seems to be in such chaos, with the family unit being under constant attack.

And as the family goes, so goes the nation!

2 Timothy 3:1-5 
In the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!

Today, I hope to speak to multiple audiences:

  • The young & old; whether you have children, or you’re are still a child
  • Students (those in MS and HS)
  • Elementary-aged kids, and pre-schoolers
  • Young Adults, too! Bc although they are adults, they still need people who care for them and have been there, done that.
  • But I also want to speak to the parents in the room and online, bc we all have or had parents in our lives — and at the least, we are the ones who set the example to the younger people in our lives what it means to honor people who have come before us.

Webster’s dictionary says, Honor is “to respect greatly, regard highly; treat with deference and courtesy.

The basic meaning of the Hebrew word translated “honor” means “weighty” (with dignity, respect, and reverence).

To put it simply, to honor another person is to value that person, to respect and esteem that individual, and to regard the importance of him or her.

And when we give weight/value to something, we give it our time, energy, and attention.

So consider, how much weight do you give to your work, or your finances, or your favorite sports team or hobbies? How much weight do you give to your health or friends?

These are things we all value, but it is our moral obligation to give respect, love, and reverence to our parents also. Honor means giving preference over and above others.

Honor is related to position, such as the President of the U.S. Regardless of your politicial views, you can honor the office of our President no matter who’s in the WH.

This is because, as the Apostle Paul refers to the authorities in our lives, they are God’s servants. Mom & Dad are God’s servants.

And the position they hold demands that we honor them regardless of whether we agree with all of their decisions. And so we honor our parents, not necessarily because they deserve it in their actions, but because of the position they hold.

Honor must also be practical. It has to be more than just lip service.

Isaiah 29:13 reads, “The Lord says, ‘These people worship me with their mouths and honor me with their lips. But their hearts are far from me, and their worship of me is based on rules made by humans.’”

There are different types of parents:

  • Helicopter Parent or the Uninvolved Parent, for example
  • Maybe you were raised by someone who mistreated you, or perhaps you had the fortune of being adopted or cared for by someone who took an interest in you because they wanted to see you succeed in life.

Today, when I say “parents” or “mom/dad”, I hope you’ll consider those who had primary influence in your life as you grew up, or even continue to grow today.

For others of you, one of your parents (or both) are no longer with us. And for that, I am truly sorry. I can only imagine how much it hurts not being able to pick-up the phone and hear their voice, to ask them a question. For you, I think you get it more than any of us. You understand why we should honor our parents.


The promises we have that if we honor our parents, is three-fold:

  • Our days will be long (national, personal)

Many children have avoided destructive forces in their life by following their parents’ example. God is teaching us that if we honor our father & mother, we can live a better life.

America is not so much a product of our government and military, as much as it is of our families and faith.

President Trump cannot truly make America great again… unless God’s people who are called by His name humble themselves and pray & seek God’s face. We must turn from our wicked ways. And this is taught & learned primarily in our homes!

  • We will prosper

God is saying that if you honor your parents, He’ll prosper you, and you’ll not only avoid problems but you’ll also reap blessings. When we are obedient, there is a fulfilling joy and peace about life.

  • God gives us security

He says that if we will honor our parents, He will “keep us in the land.”

God promises us earthly blessings (safety & security) and assures us of our eternal happiness, an eternity with Him!

So, again, why should we honor our parents?

  • They deserve it. 

    It’s the sacrifices they’ve made, the life experience they have to offer you, and they are the people God chose for you.

Proverbs 3:27 says, “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.”

Do good things for your parents as often as you can, not just May and June.

One word of encouragement will mean more to them than a hundred flowers at their funeral.

  • God declares it. 

    When you do what is right, you put the weight of the outcome on the decision to obey.

Ephesians 6:1 says, “Children obey your parents because you are Christians. This is the right thing to do.”

So, again, why should we honor our parents? Two reasons: #1 they are your parents, and #2 God said so.

So what does it mean to honor our parents?

  • Show them respect – in words & actions.
  • Obey them and tell them the truth.
  • Listen to them, accepting correction & guidance because most often they know what’s best for you.

As a child, you have one job: to honor through obedience.

Even Jesus did this with Mary & Joseph:

  • He wasn’t obedient because they were always right.
  • He didn’t honor them because they were morally superior to Him.
  • He listened to them not because they knew more than He did.

Jesus honored his earthly parents because it was right, and it was what His Father in heaven wanted Him to do.

Children need to know that disobedience brings discipline. Not with abuse but with love. God does this for our good, so that we can share in His holiness. God wants—and our parents want—what will bring about the greatest potential for our lives.

Proverbs 15:5 reminds us that “It is foolish to ignore what your father taught you; it is wise to accept his correction.”

So again, honor your father & mother by accepting them, thanking God for them, speaking well of them, and listening to their perspective.

When it’s Hard

Let’s get practical bc sometimes it’s hard to honor our parents! Even at my ripe age of (well, whatever you think a student pastor’s age should be), I sometimes struggle with putting my father or mother ahead of my own life. And I’m guessing you do, too.

1 John 5:3 
For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.

And besides, we need to keep in mind that as we honor our parents, we honor God.

Now the command to honor our parents doesn’t mean never set up boundaries in our relationships with them because submitting to authority never means subjecting ourselves to violence or abuse.

Just like Jonathan talked to his father, King Saul, about the hurtful things he was doing. There’s always a respectful way to express your disagreement. Just check the tone of your voice, the attitude of your heart, and discern the proper timing.

Practically speaking…

Depending on their age, Teenagers are motivated primarily by either Acceptance or Freedom. And so, if you’re not getting those things, or you feel like Mom or Dad are getting in the way of that for you, you feel the urge to rebel or at least make your frustration known to them.

Think about it:

  • If Mom or Dad embarrass you with your friends or even complete strangers, you might feel like they’re keeping you from fitting in or belonging to a group of teens that seem to have it all together. And you don’t want to be on the outs.
  • Or if you’re an older teenager, you feel like you’re ready to have the freedom to make your own decisions, and yet Mom or Dad keep getting in the way and they make the decision for you.
  • In those times, it’s hard to honor your father & mother.

But it’s also hard when you’re 30, 40, 50 years old, and you have a mom or dad telling you:

  • how to raise your kids
  • how to take care of the house or yard
  • how to treat someone at work or someone in the family
  • How many of you who are married were given a list of people who had to be invited to your wedding?

You see, for some of us, our parents don’t really stop being a parent. They want the best for us. I’m not giving them an excuse to embarrass you, or seemingly hold you back, or tell you how to live your life. But I think it’s important to talk about the heart of why parents do what they do. Maybe that will help us to respect them more, and maybe even get to honoring them. It’s also important, I think, to talk about why God commands us to honor our father & mother.

If you’ve been hurt by a parent, the first thing you need to do is release your anger by praying for them. The reason so many people are in crummy marriages today is because they’ve never resolved the anger they feel toward their parents.

The Apostle Paul reminds us today, “If you’re angry, don’t sin by nursing your grudge. Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry—get over it quickly.”

Deuteronomy 5:16
“Respect your father and mother, as I, the Lord your God, command you, so that all may go well with you and so that you may live a long time in the land that I am giving you.”

The bottom line is that if you honor your parents, the rest of your life will go well.

Ultimately, it comes down to honoring God in our relationships with others. There’s a reason God instructs us to honor our Father & Mother—and to give honor, in fact, to all the elders in our lives (Lev. 19:32).

God wants a restored and growing relationship with you today. If you don’t know Him, or you struggle with putting Him first, you don’t have to leave this place the way you came in. You can choose to come to the altar, this area in the front, or remain in your seat if you choose, but surrender to Him.

Express that you trust Him by raising your hands in surrender, asking Him to help you honor your father & mother.

Ask Him to help you fully trust Him as He leads you into life ever-lasting. Ask Him to help you forgive, or ask for forgiveness.

Worship Set

Open Up The Heavens 

- Meredith Andrews, Stuart Garrard, James McDonald, and Andi Rozier


We've waited for this day
We're gathered in Your Name
Calling out to You
Your glory like a fire awakening desire
Will burn our hearts with truth

Misc1 (Pre-Chorus)

You're the reason we're here
You're the reason we're singing


Open up the heavens we want to see You
Open up the flood gates a mighty river
Flowing from Your heart
Filling every part of our praise

Misc2 (Interlude)



Your presence in this place
Your glory on our face
We're looking to the sky
Descending like a cloud
You're standing with us now
Lord unveil our eyes

Misc3 (Bridge)

Show us show us
Your glory
Show us show us
Your power
Show us show us
Your glory Lord

Misc4 (Ending)


Ever Be 

- Bobby Strand, Chris Greely, Gabriel Wilson, and Kalley Heiligenthal

Verse 1

Your love is devoted like a ring of solid gold
Like a vow that is tested like a covenant of old
Your love is enduring through the winter rain
And beyond the horizon with mercy for today

Misc 1 (Pre-Chorus)

Faithful You have been and faithful You will be
You pledge Yourself to me and it’s why I sing

Chorus 1

Your praise will ever be on my lips
Ever be on my lips
Your praise will ever be on my lips
Ever be on my lips

Verse 2

You Father the orphan
Your kindness makes us whole
You shoulder our weakness
And Your strength becomes our own
You’re making me like You
Clothing me in white
Bringing beauty from ashes
For You will have Your bride

Misc 2 (Pre-Chorus)

Free of all her guilt and rid of all her shame
And known by her true name and it’s why I sing

Misc 3 (Bridge)

You will be praised
You will be praised
With angels and saints we sing worthy are You Lord
You will be praised
You will be praised
With angels and saints we sing worthy are You Lord
And it's why I sing

King Of My Heart

- Kutless

Verse 1

Let the King of my heart
Be the mountain where I run
The fountain I drink from
Oh He is my Song

Let the King of my heart
Be the shadow where I hide
The ransom for my life
Oh He is my Song

Chorus 1

You are good, good, oh
You are good, good, oh
You are good, good, oh
You are good, good, oh

Verse 2

Let the King of my heart
Be the wind inside my sails
The anchor in the waves
Oh He is my Song

Let the King of my heart
Be the fire inside my veins
The echo of my days
Oh He is my Song

Chorus 2

You are good, good, oh
You are good, good, oh
Yes, you are good, good, oh
You are good, good, oh

Misc 1 (Bridge)

You're never gonna let, never gonna let me down
You're never gonna let, never gonna let me down
You're never gonna let, never gonna let me down
You're never gonna let, never gonna let me down

Chorus 3

You are good, good, oh
You are good, good, oh
You are good, good, oh
You are good, good, oh
When the night is holding on to me
You are holding on

When the night is holding on to me
You are holding on
You are good, good, oh
You are good, good, oh
You are good, good, oh
You are good, good, oh

Misc 2 (Tag)

When the night is holding on to me
God is holding on

When the night is holding on to me
God is holding on


- Chris Quilala, Joshua Silverberg, and Mia Fieldes

Verse 1

Before I call
Before I ever cry
You answer me
From where the thunder hides
I can't outrun
This heart I'm tethered to
With ev'ry step
I collide with You

Chorus 1

Like a tidal wave
Crashing over me
Rushing in to meet me here
Your love is fierce
Like a hurricane
That I can't escape
Tearing through the atmosphere
Your love is fierce

Verse 2

You cannot fail
The only thing I've found
Is through it all
You never let me down
You don't hold back
Relentless in pursuit
At ev'ry turn
I come face to face with You

Misc 1 (Bridge)

You chase me down
You seek me out
How could I be lost when
You have called me found

Misc 2 (Ending)

Your love is fierce
Your love is fierce
Your love is fierce