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Fireworks (Part 2)


You Before Me


Me

Fireworks – a combustible or explosive device for producing a striking display of light or a loud noise, used for signaling or as part of a celebration.

Sometimes the things that draw us together can be the things that spark and cause massive explosions in our relationships.

Grandfather - “Son, when we were young I loved her so much I could eat her, and now I wish I had.”

And the struggle is that there is so much power in ME.

We

You've had part of your brain saying, “Put Yourself First.”
Then the other part of your brain saying, “Put the other first.”
Seems easy.

But when you’re in the heat of the moment with your spouse, a coworker, your kids, its not an easy situation. 

“I deserve this.” or “This is how God made me.” or “They should know by now.”

Each one of us come to relationships with our own desires and expectations.

Take marriage for instance. We come in with a desire of:
how much time we’re gonna spend with each other,
or how we’re both going to handle money,
or how many kids we’re gonna have,
or what type of house we’re gonna live in.

Often when these desires/expectations aren’t met it leads to conflict.

We each have a preset way that we handle conflict.

We either learned it from our parents, or we developed it over the years.

Typically our desires, expectations, and even the way we handle conflict is lived out by this rule -

ME BEFORE YOU

I enter this relationship with:
My desires,
My expectations, 

If My Desires and Expectations aren’t met, I will bring My preset method of Conflict.

Me, ME, ME.

But what if there was a principle that we could follow, something that would inform our conversations - something that would guide us in our families, or at our jobs?

God

2000 years ago Paul who wrote a letter to a church in the city of Ephesus. 

He addresses Christians and encourages them to be unified and more like Jesus.

In Chapter 5 Paul gives instructions for how Christian families should treat one another. 

What Paul describes here can and should be the definition of every family. Not just Christian. 

But why did Paul have to write this to Christians?

He saw how so many Christians:
treat each other
treat their own families
treat their own spouses
treat their own kids. 

He lays out how Christians should behave towards those they love the most.

Ephesians 5:21
"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

Submit to one another. 

Defer to one another.

In a world that screams Me Before You, Paul says let’s change the tune to You Before Me. 

Why?
Not just because you are family and you love each other but:
because you’re a Christian and the world is watching
because you respect Christ.
Out of reverence for Christ.

Here’s what Paul is saying:
Because you are a Christian, because you have given your life to Christ submit yourself to one another.
Because you and I have been changed by Christ there should be a change in the way we live. 

Not Me Before You, but You Before Me.

Submitting means I yield myself to you. 

I take my power, my desires, and I submit them to you. 

I put your dreams, your goals, your desires to the top of my list and I make you a priority.

And this is powerful, because when I focus on Jennifer, I have to take the focus off of me. When I make her a priority, I fight the selfish ambition in me.

It means that when there’s conflict, instead of using my power, or my loud voice, or my excellent arguing skills I submit them. I lay them down and defer to you.

Maybe a better way of remembering this is:

WHEN THERE IS CONFLICT IN WE, I’LL PUT YOU BEFORE ME

I’ll put the relationship first.

And shouldn’t this be the way we treat everyone? 

If you’ve submitted yourself to Jesus the evidence is in how you treat other people. 

Paul says, the evidence of being close to Christ is not just what you can do to and for God, but the evidence of your relationship with God is what you do toward and for those around you.

That’s how we live out our relationship with God, in the relationships of those around us. 

How I treat you, reflects how close I am with God.
How I treat my coworkers reflects my proximity to God.
How I treat my kids, shows the world where I stand with God.
How I treat my spouse reflects my relationship with God.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Paul shows how we live out verse 21.

Wives and Husbands

He starts out general, everyone submits to everyone. 

But Paul, I think, knew something very true about us. We need specifics.

"22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."

Wives submit to your husbands.

The way you live out your relationship with God is through the way you treat your husband.

Paul says, you’ve got a testimony to live out. You’ve got an incredible opportunity here. 

Paul says remember he’s a son of God and that when he was at his worst, God sent His son to give His life for him.

When conflict arises:
he doesn’t take out the trash
he leaves the seat up

You have a choice. 

You could choose to go back to your old way of conflict. ME, ME, ME. 

Or you could remember that WHEN THERE IS CONFLICT IN WE, I’LL PUT YOU BEFORE ME.

"25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."

Husbands - you’re not off the hook here. 

He says husbands love your wife. 

In the same love that God loves you.

Here’s what God did for her - He gave himself up for her.
Jesus loved her so much that he laid his life down for her. 

When she was in a battle with Him - lost and far away:
He didn’t get quiet.
He didn’t get angry at her.
He didn’t blow up, slam doors, scream, or give her the cold shoulder.
He died for her.

Paul says, husbands, that’s how I want you to love her. 

She’s a daughter of God. And he did whatever it took to get her back.

Paul takes it up a notch and says:
“Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

Treat her the way you would treat yourself.

I take my strength, my ideas, my power and I lay it down at her feet because I love her like God loves her.

Would you argue with yourself just to be right?

Would you lay a hand on yourself - don’t you dare lay a hand on her.

Remember, the way you live out your relationship with God is through how you love her.

So the next time conflict arises. You have a choice. 

You could go back to your old way of conflict. ME, ME, ME. or you could remember that WHEN THERE IS CONFLICT IN WE, I’LL PUT YOU BEFORE ME.

You

This has the power to change everything in your marriage.

Putting your spouse first in conflict means that you give them the benefit of the doubt. 

Means that you don’t argue just to be right. 

Means you don’t  give each other the quiet treatment for days. 

Means that when you make a mistake you say, “I’m Sorry.”

But this principle could be lived out in all our relationships.

Teenagers if you really want to mess with your parents go up to them and say, “Mom, Dad, how can I put you first? I mean is there something I can do to help you?"

Or adults, imagine the next time you get into conflict with a coworker. Instead of going back to your old style of conflict what if you remembered -  "When there’s conflict in WE, I’ll put you before me." And you submitted and let the conflict die.

Conflict can’t survive when love is present.

Next time your not sure what to do ask yourself this question - How can I put your needs in front of my own. 

We 

Husbands, imagine if you began to love her the way Christ loves her. 

Wives, imagine if you began to love him the way Christ loves him. 

Teenagers, imagine what would happen if you put your parents hopes, expectations, dreams before your own.

Adults, imagine what would happen if you went out into your world, whether it be work, or home, or family and you began to love everyone around you the way Christ loves them.

Think of the difference we could make. 


Worship Set


10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)

- Matt Redman, Jonas Myrin

Chorus 1

 Bless the Lord, oh my soul, oh my soul,
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before, oh my soul
I worship Your holy name 

Verse 1

The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the ev'ning comes 

Verse 2 

You're rich in love and You're slow to anger
You're name is great and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find 

Chorus 2 

Bless the Lord, oh my soul, oh my soul,
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before, oh my soul,
I worship Your holy name 

Verse 3 

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise un-ending
Ten thousand years and then forever more 

Chorus 3 

Bless the Lord, oh my soul, oh my soul,
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before, oh my soul,
I worship Your holy name
Yes I will worship Your holy name,
Lord I worship Your holy name 

Tag 

Sing like never before, oh my soul,
I worship Your holy name
Yes I will worship Your holy name,
Lord I worship Your holy name


Alive

- 2012 Hillsong Music

Verse 1 

I was lost with a broken heart,
You picked me up,
Now I’m set apart.
From the ask, I am born again,
Forever safe in the Savior’s hands.

Verse 2 

You are more than my words could say,
I’ll follow You, Lord, for all my days.
Fix my eyes, follow in Your ways,
Forever free in unending grace.
‘Cause You are, You are, You are my freedom.
We lift You higher, lift You higher.
Your love, Your love, Your love never ending.
Oh, oh, oh. 

Chorus 

You are alive in us,
Nothing can take Your place.
You are all we need,
Your love has set us free. 

Verse 3 

In the midst of the darkest night
Let Your love be the shining light.
Breaking chains that were holding me,
You sent Your son down and set me free. 

Verse 4 

Ev’rything of this world will fade,
I’m pressing on ‘til I see Your face.
I will live that Your will be done,
I won’t stop till Your kingdom come.
‘Cause You are, You are, You are my freedom.
We lift You higher, lift You higher.
Your love, Your love, Your love never ending.
Oh, oh, oh. (Repeat Chorus Twice)


Open Up Our Eyes

- Chris Brown, London Gatch, Mack Brock, Stu Garrard, Wade Joye

Verse 1 

Greater is the One, who's in us.
Greater is the One who calls our name.
He will never fail.
Stronger is the One within us.
Stronger is the One who fights for us.
He will never fail.
You will never fail. 

Chorus 

For Your love endures forever,
oh, Your love endures forever.
Open up our eyes, surround us with Your light.
Your love endures forever. 

Verse 2 

Mighty is the One who's for us.
Mighty is the One who's strong to save.
He will make a way.
You will make a way. 

Bridge 

Our God is fighting for us always.
Our God is fighting for us all.
Our God is fighting for us always.
We are not alone, we are not alone. 

Interlude

We are not alone, we are not alone. 

Ending 

Yeah.


Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

- Words and music by Helen H. Lemmel

Verse 1 

O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free. 

Chorus 

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face.
And the things of earth Will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace. 

Verse 2 

Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we followed Him there.
Over us sin no more hath dominion,
For more than conquerors we are!
(Repeat Chorus) 

Verse 3 

His Word shall not fail you, He promised;
Believe Him and all will be well.
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!
(Repeat Chorus)

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